No Faking It

You can’t really fake it. You can try. You can tell yourself you’re interested in a certain kind of story because that’s what’s selling, that’s what women between the ages of 35 and 55 are reading now. You can tell yourself it doesn’t really matter because you love to write and you love stories and what’s the difference really? You definitely want to sell something and it’s a lot easier to sell what people want to read, so that’s what you’ll write.

You tell yourself not to be precious about your writing. Don’t be a snob. That’s a luxury you can’t afford. Maybe when you’re rich and successful you’ll be able to be picky, but that’s not where you are right now. You’re just trying to be practical, to be a grownup. You had a lot of dreams when you started out, but they were born in childhood, before you understood how the world really worked. Now you know – or, you think you know. You’ve certainly heard a lot about how it works. People will definitely tell you if you ask them. They’ll say, “I hate to tell you, but . . .” and then the hard truth comes. They’re being helpful, these people. They had dreams once also.

So, you try to write the kind of story you’re told people will read. It doesn’t go well. You tell yourself this is because you’re learning. That’s normal. Except it doesn’t get any easier. In fact, it just gets harder and harder. What misery. You wonder if you’re not cut out for this. You wonder why you didn’t just go to law school or get your teaching certificate. You don’t need to wonder. You didn’t want to do those things because they didn’t excite you the way telling a story did, and so you thought, “Wouldn’t it be great to spend my life doing this?”

Indeed, it would. Eventually, you give up. Give up faking it. It’s impossible. You sit at your desk, surrounded by the unfinished stories you never really wanted to tell. Now you finally ask, “What’s something I’d love to write? What’s cool? What have I been avoiding because I thought someone else wouldn’t like it?” The answer is always waiting for you. In fact, it was pecking at your imagination while you tried to please other people, distracting you, making it harder and harder to be someone you’re not.

Check out Fearless Writing with Bill Kenower on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com