Conversation Ender

I can’t think of anyone who’s ruined more conversations than he has. And by ruined I don’t mean ended. Just the opposite. If you’re sitting in silence with a friend but wish you had something to talk about, just mention his name away you’ll go. The trouble is where you’ll go. In my experience you’ll soon be in a death-spiral of worry, anger, and disbelief.

Sometimes you might try to divert the stream of the conversation by citing evidence that maybe things aren’t as bad as you imagine they are. These are noble, well-intentioned efforts that are doomed to fail. It’s not that your evidence is weak, or that the total collapse of liberal democracy is inevitable, but rather the gravitational weight of this kind of civilizational fear is so great, it pulls thought to it the way a black hole sucks all nearby light into its emptiness.

Most of these conversations end when an unspoken agreement is reached that everyone involved is too exhausted to carry on. You then head off alone, left to dwell for a time in that wreckage of hopelessness. It’s almost impossible to come up with a reason to do anything while you remain in the shadow of where you’ve been. What’s the point of working on a book proposal or finishing a song if you’re only going to deliver your child into a world without a future?

Sometimes, though, I’ll find the willpower midstream to say, “Let’s not do this.” Not starting at all would be the very best choice, but this a close second. When you cut it off despite all the momentum compelling you to continue, cut it off despite the addictive belief that if you just go on a little more this time you’ll solve something, you realize you do in fact have some power over your life – and isn’t that exactly the question you’ve been trying to answer in all that useless talking?

Check out Fearless Writing with Bill Kenower on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com