The Hunt

A year ago, our cat Birdie, while keeping us company in the bathroom as we completed our evening ablutions, noticed a single silver fish slithering along the grout between the floor tiles by the bathtub. Her little hunter’s mind instantly locked in, and she followed its path with laser focus until, in one deft stab, she pinned it with her paw and lapped it up. A few nights later it happened again, and then once more a week after that.

Fortunately – at least for those of us who use and clean the bathroom – that was last time. Birdie, however, continues to return every night and sniff and crouch by the bathtub’s corner. She’s not hungry, of course. There’s often food still piled in her dish. It’s the thrill of the hunt, I think, that draws her there every evening, where she waits and waits for a quarry that has never returned. Sometimes I wonder if she even remembers what she’s waiting for, as if all she knows is that once this was a time and place where she had some fun.

I’m perhaps projecting. Seeing her, I’m reminded of all the old subjects I’ll return to in my mind in the small moments when life feels flat. Once upon a time I’d thought about my favorite football team, or that song I was writing, or a political development, and it had provided some brief stimulation and maybe, if worry had begun gathering round my mind, the welcome relief of hope. So back I’ll go, even though now the subject has become as dull as gum chewed past flavor. Like those silverfish, whatever stimulation or relief the thoughts once provided is not coming back.

Writing, in this way, is like hunting in new grounds. Admittedly, there is something easy about summoning an old thought. You know what it is, you don’t have to wait for it, you can just pluck it out of the laundry hamper of your mind where you dropped it. I know this is why we call writing hard, this waiting, this not knowing. But, if you’re like me, you come to the page for the hunt – for the fun of it, yes, but also to remember that you prefer what is new, for that’s the direction your life is always heading.

Check out Fearless Writing with Bill Kenower on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com