Generous Acceptance

 Years ago, not long after I first started doing interviews for Author, I sat down with the novelist Alice Hoffman. I’d never heard of Hoffman until I received a copy of her novel The Third Angel, which was perhaps the twentieth she’d published in her long career. I loved the book as much as any I’d read in recent memory. Though I’d already interviewed dozens of writers, she was the first whose book meant as much to me as the ones written by dead writers I’d so treasured as a young man. Hoffman was still very much alive, and we were about talk to one another.

I liked her right away. She was honest and soft-spoken and unpretentious. In the middle of the interview, I had to pause to consult with my cameraman, and Hoffman took the opportunity to thank me for the conversation. “This is wonderful,” she said. “This is one of the best interviews I’ve ever had.”

I was a little taken aback initially. It had not occurred to me until then that being interviewed could be a good or not-so-good experience. What’s more, that she, a Big Deal Author, whose book I loved, was thanking me was disorienting. I blushed and said, “My pleasure,” but then added: “Well, I have to say, I absolutely loved the book. Honestly. It moved me as much as any I can remember reading.”

She nodded, seemed to absorb what I’d said, and then replied, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” I had never seen someone take a compliment like that before. It wasn’t just that she meant it when she thanked me in return, nor that she remained thoroughly humble while doing so, but that she clearly chose to take what I’d said in, to not deflect or shrug it off, having likely heard that sort of thing many times before. It was, I saw, an act of generosity on her part. By accepting what I was giving, she was acknowledging its value. In that moment, she reminded me that we were equals.

It's a skill every author needs to learn. Yes, we must teach ourselves to survive criticism and the unhappy trolls of the Internet who think their lives would be better if only we hadn’t published our story, but it’s just as important we know how to accept a little praise when it comes. Take it in. You may be the author, but someone’s giving you a gift in reciprocation for the one you’d given in your story.

Check out Fearless Writing with Bill Kenower on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find Bill at: williamkenower.com