No Offense

Though I don’t run much of a risk of it because of what I write, I still never want to offend my readers. I don’t worry about offending someone. Based on my own experience as a reader and just as a person going about my day hearing what other people say, I don’t believe what I write could do any actual harm to anyone. For instance, every once in a while someone will watch one of my interviews on YouTube and take issue with a question I ask or how chatty I am, and they will express their displeasure in a comment. These opinions are always blunt. I have been called a moron, an idiot, a joke – even a journalist! It would be easy to assume these words were meant to hurt me, but they didn’t.

It's much easier to call someone a moron in an online comment section than to their face, though that has happened to me a few times as well. What I dislike most about those face-to-face moments, what I have even feared, were not the words directed at me, but where I saw the person go to say them. I’ve been there myself. It’s a dark place where anger’s shadow obscures what is obvious about all of us – that we’re all complete and we all have an inherent intelligence and we all mean well. If I don’t get angry in response, I always think the same thing: He can’t see me.

This is why I don’t want to offend anyone. I wouldn’t want to accidentally send someone into that darkness where the world is filled with enemies. All the battles I’ve fought with others have been a consequence of misunderstanding. What I meant and what I said did not align in their ears, or what they meant and what they said did not align in mine, and so the war began. I never want to be at war. I must remember that if someone says something, and I interpret this to mean they’re my enemy, I’m always wrong.

However, I can’t control what other people think about what I say. So, I must be as clear as possible. As a writer, this is always my first job. But I also want to leave room for the reader. I want to allow them to draw their own conclusions, to get my jokes without me explaining them. Inevitably, I’ll be a little unclear, or they won’t get my joke, and so they might take offense. This does not change the reality that I am not their enemy and they are not mine, which I must trust will be clear once the fog of fear has passed.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com