Beneath the Surface

I saw an old friend recently whom I hadn’t hung out with in ages, and I decided to ask him some specifics about the job he’d held for almost thirty years. Being an executive and creative director at a major corporation, I’d always pictured him in an office at a desk doing Business Stuff. It turned out to be more nuanced than that, and I was glad to hear how much his job involved working with and managing other people, and how this made such good use of his inherent kindness, intuition and decency – the very reasons I’ve remained his friend all these years.

Then, being the polite fellow that he is, he asked me about my work. He wanted to know how it was going. This is a tricky question to ask a writer. I told him it was going great, though I suspected he wanted to know if I had a book in the publishing pipeline, which I didn’t. I told him about my clients and about going to upcoming conferences – but that wasn’t why I was enjoying the work. An awkward silence ensued. I decided to change the subject.

I realized afterward that much of what I was excited about was occurring beneath the surface. There was new and good stuff bubbling away in me, but no one else could see it, and I didn’t even know yet what it would become. What’s more, it’s not a good idea to talk too much about it. It’s difficult to capture in words the value of what is still seeking its form, and if you’re not careful, your failure to do so can dampen your necessary enthusiasm for whatever it will be.

After all, if no one else can see it, read it, or hear it, is it even real? It’s a strange and persistent question that haunts every artist. Then again, most of what my friend was describing to me about his job took place where I would never see it either. Not just behind the closed doors of his office tower, but within his own heart, where his decisions are first made before they are shared, where his worry and confidence contend for his attention. We all live mostly beneath the surface, frequently mistaking our books and bank accounts for reality.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com