Staying In The Zone


I used to worry that my biggest personal defect was that I was secretly lazy. I didn’t look lazy: I wrote every day, I worked a job, and generally if something needed doing I’d do it. But in my heart, I often complained about the stuff I had to do. I didn’t want to struggle, I didn’t want my life to be comprised of a list of chores, and if I was honest I didn’t even want to work. I wanted to have fun. Fun was always easy, even if what I was doing when I was having fun, like writing, required concentration and patience.

Sometimes I’d hear people say, “You need to get out of your comfort zone,” and I’d think, “Yes, I should do that!” The problem was I liked being comfortable. I never wanted to be uncomfortable. More laziness, I thought. Of course, this was at a time in my life when I was not having a lot of fun. In fact, I was having so little fun that I spent almost every idle moment imagining a time in my life when circumstances would allow me to have lots and lots of fun.

In these fantasies I was never sitting around sipping mimosas and watching the sunset. This didn’t seem like fun to me. In my fantasies I was always doing something fun, like talking to people about all the stuff I secretly felt was very important but was afraid to actually write about. What fun that would be. I was sure there would come a day when some mythic authority would allow me to write and talk about those things.

Fortunately, there came a time when not writing about those very interesting and important things became so uncomfortable that I broke down and started doing it. I wasn’t lazy, I realized. My problem wasn’t that I was unwilling to get out of my comfort zone. My problem was that I wasn’t keeping up with my comfort zone, which kept moving and moving as my life kept moving. I’m always going to be uncomfortable when I resist the strong current of my own desires, and I will always be relieved the moment I release and go where it is taking me.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.